My unscientific sampling says many people make New Years resolutions, and few follow through. Net result—unhappiness.

It doesn't have to be that way.

You could, of course, just try harder, stiffen your resolve, etc. But you've been there, tried that. You could also ditch the whole idea and just stop making resolutions. Avoid goal-failure by eliminating goal-setting. Effective, but it comes at the cost of giving up your aspirations.

I have heard of another idea: replace the New Year's Resolution List with a New Year's Gratitude List. Here's why it makes sense.

1. First, most resolutions are about self-improvement: This year I resolve to: quit smoking, lose weight, cut the gossip, drink less, exercise more, and so on. That's not to mention: make more cold calls, do more networking, raise prices, do a better job of screening, write more material, get with the online social networking program, etc.
   
   All those resolutions are rooted in dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs with one's business, or with oneself, or both. In other words: Resolutions often have a component of dissatisfaction with self. For many, it isn't just dissatisfaction—it's self-hatred. And the stronger the loathing of self, the stronger the resolutions—and the more they hurt when they go unfulfilled. It can be a very vicious circle.
   
   
2. Second, happy people do better. This has some verification in science, and it's a common point of view in religion and psychology—and in common sense. And nowhere is it truer than in sales.
   
   People who are slightly optimistic do better in life. People who are happy are more attractive to other people. Who do you buy from: A negative person with a chip on his shoulder and a grudge to avenge? Or, someone positive people who genuinely enjoys interacting with you? In a very real sense, we empower what we fear—and attract what we put out.
   
   Ergo, replace resolutions with gratitude. The best way to improve oneself is paradoxical—start by being grateful for what you already have. That turns your aspirations from negative (fixing a bad situation) to positive (making a fine situation even better).
   
   Hunger and eagerness are overrated in selling professional services. Unless you're selling a pure transaction and don't care much about people, you're better off starting with gratitude for the relationships you have, rather than drooling over the clients you'll "conquer."
   
   Gratitude forces our attention outwards, to others—a common recommendation of almost all good sales programs, not to mention spiritual programs.
   
   
3. Finally, gratitude calms us. We worry less. We don't obsess. We attract others by our calm, which makes our lives connected and meaningful, and our clients more happy to be with us. And before long, we tend to smoke less, drink less, exercise more, gossip less, and so on.
   
   We also tend to get the sale. The ultimate paradox in sales is that you do better when you stop trying; when you stop fixating on the closed deal as the objective; when you are willing to trust in a longer term process than grasping at every transaction.

All of which of course is what we thought we wanted in the first place. But the real truth is—it wasn't the resolutions we wanted in the first place. It was the peace that comes with gratitude. We mistook cause for effect.

Go for an attitude of gratitude. The peace, and the sale, are positive side-effects.